A Roast to my Mentor

Try telling my Yoda the rhetorical, “I had a bad day today!,” and pat comes his reply, “Oh it’s all about mind control. What “I” do is insulate myself from the world around me by building a wall. By doing so, I am in absolute control. If you do it like me, then nothing can make your day bad. Not a mosquito. Not even your hubby. Steven Covey says: “Reactive people are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior.” “I” have found this helpful throughout my life.

What he means is, If you have had a bad day, it just goes to show how much more you have to learn, how much more you need to mature and grow. You can do it, Preethi. You and only you can do it for yourself. Err…knock knock, Who is it? Oh Condescension, whose name starts with a Huge A.

I, I, I and I, the towering I that cannot say a simple Oh Is it. Or may be nod understandingly, say a hmmm, aahhhh or an ok, or I know, some days are like that.

All I see is a big head full of statistics and data filled learnings and heavy duty wisdom that is waiting to spill forth in all their grandeur at the smallest opportunity. Because you know every single opportunity is to be grabbed to present how sorted out he is. Like his socks and shirts too that go into the cupboards in a neat stack.

The all-knowing Yoda has shaved his head almost bald, like he is hoping to remove any obstruction whatsoever to the halo that’s beginning to appear brighter and brighter around his head.

I can go on and on about his typical encyclopaediac-long pontification he delivers better than the pope. With an attitude that means, I pity you, I have decoded everything that can be decoded ever, while you go whining or pining for things. I have attained nirvana of the highest heights and I can see everything crystal clear from atop my huge ever growing pedestal covered with the brightest spotlight.

It amazes me how he pours out lessons he thinks you never knew on everything from managing a boss and a spouse to the scratch on your car or a blotch on your career (I tell him: pssst! I have seen school, college, corporate world, friends, the world around me too and BTW I know google, Youtube and the likes exist!)

He does all this with a bland poker face and a monotone that will want robots to go thronging to him for training. In contrast, today’s Alexas might actually use him as an example to be avoided. But I have to give it to him, there’s definitely some modulation in his voice when he utters the oh so important I, that sounds like its accompanied by a grand orchestra or better still his favourite rock band.

So here is the thing: most of the time he is preaching and teaching, he thinks I am processing all of those gyan deep within but you know what I am doing: Wondering if he even knows how to scream or wince or raise his eyebrows or laugh aloud or put his tongue out in jest. I wonder if he knows that face muscles and even the larynx are actually flexible.

Wondering what if i gouge open his mouth, will it ever elicit a loud groan? Or will well-mannered Covey quotes march out in a neat queue, teaching me about being in control?

I Am Feeling Good

What hit me first when I heard this song by Nina Simone is her powerful voice oozing badass attitude. That in itself made me visualize her standing tall on a grand stand, hands akimbo, her long locks flowing freely and wild in the mild wind blowing around, proclaiming to everyone that she has now taken on a new life – one where she has not a care in the world. I could see her, eyes closed projecting an inviolable aura of confidence, boldness and power.

But as the lyrics unraveled, I could see myself strolling amongst the giant trees and wild green, unpruned shrubs with bright and fragrant flowers – many withered and fallen without a care on the muddy ground. With a calm smile that did not intend to impress or express but just feel the scene I was breathing in, I was communing with the squeaking Eagles, the melodious Mynahs, the fresh green Parrots, the fork tailed Drongos, the magnificent bluish-green Purple Sunbirds and the white necked Hawks. 

As I waited patiently for minutes facing the east, the sun, whose grandeur I was allowed to experience only during the dawn and dusk, peeked silently and slowly from behind the grey and bright white clouds – first teasing and delighting me with his pinkish orangish hues and then tantalizing me with his glorious golden white glow. He was swathing me in large streams of happy energy and in that moment of perfect bliss, I realized:

No one else matters. Nothing else matters. All that counts is me.
I have the entire cosmic universe inside of me.

The beauty, wonder, bliss and power of the cosmos lies within me.

I don’t need any crutches, any external influence or motivation to awaken the energies inside me and realize my true potential and purpose.

All I must do is look within to experience the eternal communion with the unending, untainted and unperishable cosmos. I am the cosmos.

Oh yes, And I am feeling good!

Her Twin Flame

She felt like she had finally come home. 

His arrival changed the trajectory of her life. Her mind, heart and soul were not the same anymore. His way and words held a mirror to her insides. Her very life flashed before her inner eyes and she could now see every single event and episode of the past in a new light. With better clarity.She was now able to accept herself without apologies. 

She wanted to fly higher but without a mad haste. She longed to dream more but with a calmness that surprised her. There was no painful urge to prove herself to the world. She was now willing to slow down and enjoy her sky, though it was hazy and stormy often.

She never yearned to touch him, to look into his eyes or feel him.
But only wanted to sit alongside him and soak in the pleasures of ideas, dreams and philosophies. Just hear his words that had such gravitas that she felt secure, serene and full of strength.

She longed to fill him in on every single detail of her life so far.
Not to amuse him or impress him or win his approval but merely because she felt like it was the natural thing to do.


Let him know.
Because he had to know.

She felt complete. She had found her other half.
Her twin flame.